…I’m still here.

Been seeing a (couple of) therapist(s) for a few months. Tried Lexapro, now Zoloft. I did not do anything rash, despite the plans and opportunity, and the payoff so far is watching Alex Jones become poorer than me. So I guess some dreams do come true.

Whatever it is I’m looking for is still out of reach, but eh, I’m here and have some Halloween candy to bide my time.

I’m going to give this site another try. Maybe not daily since that feels like work. But more than never. Hope everyone else is having a great Autumn.


…the at-home blood pressure test went okay.

Yesterday I had my first physical in something like six years. I was dreading the blood pressure cuff.

It never goes well. I’m terrified of them. Everyone says it’s stupid to be afraid of a pressure cuff, as if I’m not aware of exactly how dumb my terror is. Like, y’all know what “phobia” means, right? It wouldn’t have a special name if it was a rational fear. People have arachnophobia, they don’t have “dying of nuclear war because Putin’s a fuckhead” phobia.

Anyway, they did three tests and I couldn’t calm down at the thought of a mindless medical device slowly squeezing the life out of my blood vessels while disaffected medical staff look on. So my results, while progressively better, looked awful. I think the first was something like 160/100. Not sure what those numbers mean, but apparently not good.

My wife set up an at-home pressure testing area so we can monitor in a more relaxing environment. It fucking sucks. Now instead of doing this only once a year, I have to do it every morning. Ugh.

At least today I was able to look at my phone. It came down a lot and was in a reasonable range. So let’s call that a glimmer of hope.


…we started playing a board game.

I haven’t been able to do a lot of the fun grown-up stuff I used to do for a few years, between the pandemic and just having kids in general. But they’re almost old enough to start playing actual tabletop games instead of Candy Land.

So we tried one. Not going to say which to avoid judgment from the Internet. Our youngest daughter was really into it and had a blast. Our oldest got too scared halfway in and we had to cut it short. So. Dang.

But those forty minutes or so that it lasted were pretty good. Looking forward to more of that sooner than later.