Atheism has been a real blessing. Don’t worry, I’m not gonna do the internet thing and talk about my superior intellect or any bullshit. People believe what they believe and that’s mostly beautiful.

And to be honest, not having a religion sometimes has drawbacks. I don’t have a church, so that’s an entire social world that’s just lost to me.

But one big plus: no fucking demons, man. Life’s hard enough just having all of these chucklefucks running around with Trump signs. Don’t need any monsters on top of it. I remember the days when I had the burden of supernatural angst on top of the regular depression, that shit SUCKED.

You know what’s way scarier than Hell though? I’m pretty sure the point of the story was never that some Boogeyman was going to come eat your kids. The point is that the Boogeyman wants YOU to eat your kids. The point is that you’re supposed to be smart enough not to believe him. All the folks who are most afraid of the antichrist forgot that part.

Today is worth it because I haven’t fed my kids ivermectin.