…my office gave us a paid day off.

Veteran’s Day has always been one of those lame lip service holidays where all our institutions say “thanks” out loud but don’t actually do anything to improve the lives of the people it’s meant to celebrate. All they really do is close the post office. So, that sucks. (FWIW, I think Veteran’s Day should be an annual deadline for Lockheed Martin and all the other ghouls to finish building the useless war jet projects they started in January, and if they don’t finish, all their money goes to a tax-free cash payout to veterans.)

My office at least does one step more and actually gives us the day as a paid holiday. I’m using it to get my Covid booster, which is literally the least (and yet, paradoxically, the most) I can do to help out all my fellow citizens today, veteran or not. And who knows, maybe I’ll do some grocery shopping or some cleaning while my kids are at school.

Parenthood is when a day off becomes exciting because it makes doing chores slightly easier.


…the washing machine should, in theory, not be hard to fix.

Our washing machine fucking broke again. That lazy piece of shit.

This would be the third time in as many years that I’ve had to open it up and swap something out. And god knows how many “cannot drain” errors since it can’t seem to deal any time there’s some particularly absorbent fabric inside.

Except, this time the “cannot drain” error is legit and the drain pump actually is broken. A replacement should be here today.

And mostly I’m pissed at this because I’ve got enough shit going on that carving out 30 minutes to tinker with a machine that’s only a few years old and keeps crapping out is hard to swallow. But… at least the part in question is right up front and does not require me to totally disassemble the thing again. As far as fixes go, this one shouldn’t be too bad.

So that’s my silver lining. That’s the thing worth it for me to get out of bed today: I can keep washing my kids’ clothes with a relatively minor amount of effort to fix our stupid goddamn washing machine. Maybe the rest of the week will get better.


…it’s an easy school lunch day.

Friday is the day we agreed to send the kids off to school with Lunchables and chocolate milk. So it’s the one day a week I can really phone it in with packing lunches and everyone’s still gonna be happy.

I’m so fucking tired. Why does school start before 10? Why does fucking anything start before 10?

Our entire way of life was founded by and continues to be decided by the dumbest shits.


…my shredder still works.

And I have a literal two foot stack of papers to shred.

Some of it built up back when we first moved into this house and I didn’t have time to sort all our documents because I was busy unpacking. Then it built up because of surgeries and school and shifting schedules.

Then the pandemic, which would’ve been a great time to mindlessly shred old bank statements, except I had to set up space for my daughter to do virtual school in my office. So for another year I just had to let crap pile up around me.

But now my office is mostly decluttered and I can shred all that shit. And my dinky little 2 pages at a time shredder still works after gathering dust all this time.

Which means… I get more time to zone out with podcasts. This is a high point for me. Yes, I know that’s bleak.


…my cat is using her Litter Robot again.

Sorta. As much as she was using her regular litter box, anyway.

That little furry turd pretty much gave up on litter boxes last year, as if the pandemic and surgeries weren’t enough. So I’ve been in a regular routine of running a carpet cleaner in the basement each week. That shit hasn’t changed.

But. She was previously refusing to use the fancy self cleaning box, and instead made a huge mess with a traditional box. And now she’s getting at least as much waste in a machine that I don’t have to scoop every day.

It counts as progress. I’ll fucking take it.


…that leak over the dining room hasn’t come back.

What a fucking ordeal that was. Started with the drain plug in our shower, which had cracked after thirty years of use. Then the water dropped down just a bit at a time and wore a hole over the dining room table.

So I bought a new drain plug from Home Depot and replaced it. And I was so happy I fixed it, until later that night when it leaked again. And I found out the replacement plug was like a millimeter shorter in diameter than the hole.

So I went back to Home Depot and tried three other slightly different plugs just in case. And those didn’t fit perfectly either, even though on the label they all said they were 3 1/2 inches, and I even broke out a goddamn ruler to make sure the part I was replacing was the same.

So then I ordered three more plugs from Amazon, hoping maybe one of those would be the correct 3 1/2 inches, but they were also fakes. Or my plug was a fake. Either way, they didn’t work.

So I had to cut out the entire P trap and rerun the drainage pipe with a brand new drain on the end so I could be sure one of my six new plugs would work, since I was going to be using the threaded part that they were sold with. But in the process, I’d mixed up all six of those fucking things because even though clearly they aren’t identical, they sure as fuck LOOK identical.

So I had to trial end error a few times to make sure I matched up the right plug with the newly plumbed drain, and then, because I didn’t believe in plumbing technology anymore, I observed the drain for like a month before putting up replacement drywall.

But it’s been about a year now and there haven’t been any other leaks. So the story has a happy ending.

Unless you look at the replacement drywall. I’m shit at drywall. Whatever. It’s not a wet hole anymore, who gives a fuck.


…the washing machine isn’t doing that thing again.

Yeah, two laundry posts in a month. The fuck can I say? Laundry’s one of like only four things I can spend my time doing anymore. The other three being work, kids, and cleaning up after kids.

So simple pleasures go a long way. One of those pleasures being when the washing machine actually washes the clothes instead of locking up and doing that goddamn “too much water / filter error” bullshit where I have to unplug it to reboot the computer and empty the filter plug at the bottom, invariably spilling water all over the goddamn floor, and then it turns out there isn’t any fucking clog or anything, the machine’s just being a lazy piece of shit and making me wash my towels three at a time, the fucking crybaby. Oh, and heaven forbid if one of those towels happened to be wet before I put it in the machine, there’s no possible way it could handle that much liquid while filling itself up with fucking water.

My washing machine wants to take a break. I hear ya, my dude, but the kids keep spilling chocolate milk and I can’t let that shit fester in the hamper. Thanks for taking one for the team today and doing your fucking job.