…we are going to the surgeon for the last time, hopefully.

At least for a year. Today’s my wife’s physical post-op, which will be followed by an online post-op in like 5 weeks. And then… Nothing. We hope. And even if there is another reason to go back, she’s committed to taking at least a year break from surgery. It’ll be the first solid year without doctor’s appointments since 2017.

Cancer sucks, man. And pretty much all of what she’s gone through has been preventive. Sure fucking glad she didn’t have to have chemo on top of it.


…I have halfway decent health insurance.

We still need better support on that front in this country. Single-payer is the goal, but at a bare minimum, how about Medicaid for everyone under 18. Or fucking anything that’s not a constant garbage fire of poverty and debt.

But sad as what we have is, it’s still better than it was. I remember the days I couldn’t find coverage for anything less than a $400 / month premium that I had to pay out of pocket (after lying outright about my weight, just to even be considered) – and that was in 2010 dollars.

Obama’s term wasn’t the revolution we deserved, but good fucking god, the ACA has helped immeasurably. I literally wouldn’t have a family right now without it.


…the billing department at Hopkins has been easy to work with.

I’ve pretty much given up hope for the day when we don’t constantly have a rotating medical debt north of at least four figures. I’m sure I’ll see that day eventually, maybe when the kids are in high school. But ten straight years of this shit has really put a damper on the hope that healthcare will ever, on any meaningful level, personal or societal, be fixed in the United States. And yet… I do still have the tiniest sparkle that maybe when I’m an old man, my grandkids (if any) will actually grow up in a country worth all the bullshit patriotism people pretend to have for it.

That hope is gone when it comes to the people. Ten years of this grueling medical shit has completely deadened me to the idea that any Republican, Boomer, or lingering Silenter will ever feel the slightest shred of empathy, responsibility, or guilt for the hellscape they set up for me and my children. They will die clutching pearls while their children burn alive, and they will be the last human generation to find rest.


At least Johns Hopkins is cool with me doing interest-free payments. Like, it’s one thing to find that you can never travel or go on vacations because you have debt. It’s another when you pay off that debt and then find out that, due to capitalism, your debt had a gross mutant baby and you now have more surprise debt, so fuck you.

Yeah, I’m still feeling my low from last week, what of it. I’m grasping at straws here. Not paying interest, that’s my glimmer in the shadows, baby.


…the side effects from my Covid booster are mild.

Still struggling for positivity this week. But you know what would really suck to have on top of general malaise and disaffectedness? Total body aches and a pounding headache that keep me in bed.

Like, I almost always want to stay in bed all day, but the fact that I don’t have to is a minor victory. I’ll use this freedom to… probably do more fucking laundry or something, I guess.