Tag Archives: Movies

…I’ve been finding time for movies again.

For awhile there I was only able to watch a non-kids’ movie once every month or so. But somehow in the last two weeks I’ve been able to sneak in like seven or eight of my own.

Yes, they’re all on my phone, no, the video quality isn’t the best, and no, not all of them have been particularly worth the wait. But I’m able to catch up a little on my back log and that’s pretty cool.

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…the new Matrix movie is pretty good.

People are complaining about it because nobody actually likes original stuff, even when they say they do. But I’m happy it exists and gave me something to keep myself occupied while recovering this week.

I enjoy that it’s a simple love story stretched out over layers and pits of genre that the main characters kinda don’t really care about as long as they can be together. It’s one of those great tricks where the story is really laser focused even when it seems like it might be bloated.

Not gonna be for everyone. I suspect it’ll be like all of the Wachowskis’ works in that people won’t truly enjoy it for another 10-15 years, because in moments when you’re confronted with genuine expressions of emotion, it’s easier to be a cynical grouch that shuns sentiment than it is to flex your empathy muscles. But late one night, long after the fact, it’ll sneak up on you and chew at your brain. And in a moment when you’re less guarded, you’ll let it in and feel the unbearable weight of all you’ve missed out on.

So don’t be a dick, is what I’m saying. Watch the movie like a parent who cares about their kids instead of like a dumbass 17 year old Limp Bizkit fan from 2002.

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…I haven’t had to pay for all the Scooby Doo movies.

There’s like 40 of these fucking things and my kids want to watch all of them. I can’t even imagine dealing with this before Netflix and HBO Max. I’d have to spend those subsection fees just on direct-to-video releases of varying (but never excellent) quality.

Oof, and the live action ones, too. Yikes. At least they like those less.

Props to Matthew Lillard, though, his Shaggy is pretty damn good. And Kate Micucci is the best Velma. Recency bias be damned, it’s the truth.

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…our microwaveable popcorn popper does good work.

This thing:

It works as advertised. Combined with a heart-stoppingly sized carton of Flavacol, we’re in constant fresh supply of theater-style popcorn.

Which is good, since watching movies is like the only goddamn thing we’ve been able to do for the last 18 months. It’s like a monkey’s paw wish, man.

“Hey, fat nerd with kids – are you sure you want to spend all your time watching movies? Alright, here’s an endless rotation of the same 20 kids’ movies, and also now that you’re locked in, you’ll be too tired from endless housekeeping that you can’t stay up late enough to watch the good stuff. Enjoy your new life, dumbass.”

Better believe I’m enjoying my fucking popcorn.

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…the 3D glasses that we bought 10 years ago have held up.

Long before we had kids – which is probably why we had enough disposable income to waste any on it – my wife and I bought a 3D DVD copy of Journey to the Center of the Earth. It’s not a good movie, but it’s fun and does its one trick pretty well.

We watched it once and then tucked it away on the shelf. It’s since joined us on three separate moves and I don’t even recall packing it. But somehow we remembered it and tried it out with our kids, who were completely fucking floored that a movie could do that.

Given that the 3D glasses that came with the movie are just the regular cardboard shit they’ve been peddling since the ’50s, they could easily have been ripped to shreds in the last decade. But they weren’t.

So now I get to look for other gimmicky shit to watch with the kids. And I do enjoy a good gimmick.

Although… Now that I think about it, wasn’t Sharkboy and Lavagirl released in 3D? And I’m realizing this after the girls have finally cooled down and quit rewatching that fucking thing?

Shit. Nobody tell them.

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…my daughters are into Halloween.

Yup, they’re both that rare type of kid that enjoys candy, who fucking knew.

More importantly, the older one loves movies and accepts any excuse to watch a bunch in a row. And the younger one loves creepy stuff and is probably going to be goth or goth-adjacent when she turns 11.

Which means I don’t have to fight too hard to get them onboard for a Halloween movie marathon this year, as we did last year, and every year. Someday we might even get to watch actual horror together.

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