…I finally got that stuck hose off the bibb.

Part of the long term damage of living in a fixer-upper is that you develop an intense fear of leaks. At our last house we had three separate issues with freezing / bursting pipes and now I’m morbidly obsessed with water damage.

No bursts at our current house… yet. I’m determined to keep it that way, so I’m trying to take winterizing seriously. This also explains why I’m rapidly becoming a boring 80 year-old.

Anyway, I hadn’t been able to winterize the rear hose bibb on our house because the hose was stuck. After two years of worrying about it I finally cut the stupid thing off.

Yup, boring responsible me wins again. Because reckless me can’t afford another fucking plumbing repair.


…we’re finally going to recycle that box.

My mother-in-law bought a couch like 6 weeks ago that was delivered in a huge box. Naturally my kids wanted to keep it.

I was less excited about losing roughly 1/3 of our living room space. Fortunately for me, we’re putting up Christmas stuff this week, including a tree, so the argument has been settled. That box is outta here.

Then I just gotta wait like another 6 months for Christmas nonsense to be over and boom: I got my living room back. Some plans just need patience.


…a Pokemon Go gym has been added within remote raid distance of my house.

Yeah, I still play Pokemon Go in 2021. What of it?

Been doing a lot less of the “go” part lately. It’s not so much because of the pandemic as it is that it’d be extremely shitty for a father to tell his young kids that he’s ditching them to go hunt down for Pokemon raids and they’re not invited. Especially since ostensibly we put Pokemon on our phones for them to play. (That’s just the bullshit we say, but we all know what’s really up.)

So having a gym close enough that I can remote into it from home is great. The kids can continue to monopolize the TV with their games, and I can discretely catch a Giratina without suffering the indignity of watching my kids choose 3 Wurmples, 2 Butterfrees, and a Skitty as my battle party.

Now I just have to wait for Tornadus to return to raids so I can finally finish that one fucking mission. Jesus Christ, Niantic, why’d you have to tie special research to a temporary 5 star legendary? You fucks.


…my cat is using her Litter Robot again.

Sorta. As much as she was using her regular litter box, anyway.

That little furry turd pretty much gave up on litter boxes last year, as if the pandemic and surgeries weren’t enough. So I’ve been in a regular routine of running a carpet cleaner in the basement each week. That shit hasn’t changed.

But. She was previously refusing to use the fancy self cleaning box, and instead made a huge mess with a traditional box. And now she’s getting at least as much waste in a machine that I don’t have to scoop every day.

It counts as progress. I’ll fucking take it.


…we can open all the windows instead of using the air conditioner.

Getting a nice breeze in the house is one of the greatest things about having a house. You get shade and fresh air without any bugs. It’s literally the best of both worlds.

Just too goddamn bad this only lasts for a few weeks out of the year nowadays.

Remember when fall and spring actually lasted for months? And you’d have temperate days for literally an entire season? Now it’s just these little fakes. Now we have ‘snot Spring and Faux Fall before we have to settle in for either “blizzard” or “too fucking hot,” and the whole goddamn time a bunch of useless fucks in suits tell us it’s always been this way and there’s no reason to try to fix it.

I guess if all you know how to do is ruin life for everyone else, then you actually can’t recognize how shit climate change has made things. That’s the trick with evil. Progress is so hard and often undefinable that you don’t even know if you’ve made any or if you should keep going. But shitting everywhere and fucking things up? You can do it all day long. There’s no bottom.

Not that I’m giving up. Fuck the GOP. We’ll take this on without you. And for the next couple glorious weeks, I’ll enjoy what little pleasant weather is left.


…that leak over the dining room hasn’t come back.

What a fucking ordeal that was. Started with the drain plug in our shower, which had cracked after thirty years of use. Then the water dropped down just a bit at a time and wore a hole over the dining room table.

So I bought a new drain plug from Home Depot and replaced it. And I was so happy I fixed it, until later that night when it leaked again. And I found out the replacement plug was like a millimeter shorter in diameter than the hole.

So I went back to Home Depot and tried three other slightly different plugs just in case. And those didn’t fit perfectly either, even though on the label they all said they were 3 1/2 inches, and I even broke out a goddamn ruler to make sure the part I was replacing was the same.

So then I ordered three more plugs from Amazon, hoping maybe one of those would be the correct 3 1/2 inches, but they were also fakes. Or my plug was a fake. Either way, they didn’t work.

So I had to cut out the entire P trap and rerun the drainage pipe with a brand new drain on the end so I could be sure one of my six new plugs would work, since I was going to be using the threaded part that they were sold with. But in the process, I’d mixed up all six of those fucking things because even though clearly they aren’t identical, they sure as fuck LOOK identical.

So I had to trial end error a few times to make sure I matched up the right plug with the newly plumbed drain, and then, because I didn’t believe in plumbing technology anymore, I observed the drain for like a month before putting up replacement drywall.

But it’s been about a year now and there haven’t been any other leaks. So the story has a happy ending.

Unless you look at the replacement drywall. I’m shit at drywall. Whatever. It’s not a wet hole anymore, who gives a fuck.