…I finally got that stuck hose off the bibb.

Part of the long term damage of living in a fixer-upper is that you develop an intense fear of leaks. At our last house we had three separate issues with freezing / bursting pipes and now I’m morbidly obsessed with water damage.

No bursts at our current house… yet. I’m determined to keep it that way, so I’m trying to take winterizing seriously. This also explains why I’m rapidly becoming a boring 80 year-old.

Anyway, I hadn’t been able to winterize the rear hose bibb on our house because the hose was stuck. After two years of worrying about it I finally cut the stupid thing off.

Yup, boring responsible me wins again. Because reckless me can’t afford another fucking plumbing repair.


…that leak over the dining room hasn’t come back.

What a fucking ordeal that was. Started with the drain plug in our shower, which had cracked after thirty years of use. Then the water dropped down just a bit at a time and wore a hole over the dining room table.

So I bought a new drain plug from Home Depot and replaced it. And I was so happy I fixed it, until later that night when it leaked again. And I found out the replacement plug was like a millimeter shorter in diameter than the hole.

So I went back to Home Depot and tried three other slightly different plugs just in case. And those didn’t fit perfectly either, even though on the label they all said they were 3 1/2 inches, and I even broke out a goddamn ruler to make sure the part I was replacing was the same.

So then I ordered three more plugs from Amazon, hoping maybe one of those would be the correct 3 1/2 inches, but they were also fakes. Or my plug was a fake. Either way, they didn’t work.

So I had to cut out the entire P trap and rerun the drainage pipe with a brand new drain on the end so I could be sure one of my six new plugs would work, since I was going to be using the threaded part that they were sold with. But in the process, I’d mixed up all six of those fucking things because even though clearly they aren’t identical, they sure as fuck LOOK identical.

So I had to trial end error a few times to make sure I matched up the right plug with the newly plumbed drain, and then, because I didn’t believe in plumbing technology anymore, I observed the drain for like a month before putting up replacement drywall.

But it’s been about a year now and there haven’t been any other leaks. So the story has a happy ending.

Unless you look at the replacement drywall. I’m shit at drywall. Whatever. It’s not a wet hole anymore, who gives a fuck.