…we are going to the surgeon for the last time, hopefully.

At least for a year. Today’s my wife’s physical post-op, which will be followed by an online post-op in like 5 weeks. And then… Nothing. We hope. And even if there is another reason to go back, she’s committed to taking at least a year break from surgery. It’ll be the first solid year without doctor’s appointments since 2017.

Cancer sucks, man. And pretty much all of what she’s gone through has been preventive. Sure fucking glad she didn’t have to have chemo on top of it.


…I may have another moment of work/life clarity.

I had one earlier this week, in between fever dreams and bouts of impostor syndrome. For a beautiful moment I had peace with the career I’m returning to on Monday.

Then it vanished and I felt terror. But hope springs eternal, so maybe I’ll get another sweet taste of relief.

Truth is, when I’m actually doing the work, I’m fine. But when I leave I fear the failure I’m not experiencing. Which sucks because by definition, when I leave, I’m at home relaxing.

Maybe it’s just that this was such an extremely shitty week, I can’t help but expect disaster. I think I’m recovered by now. I do better at work/life balance, as I do with most things, when I’m not heaving my guts out. Who knew.


…I’m not shy about taking time off.

I have PTO available to me, and I use it all regularly each year. I can’t imagine doing it any other way. I’m tired constantly even with the breaks.

I’ve known others who just don’t take their time off. It’s hard to reframe your life to something self-driven when you dedicate yourself too much to a job. Thankfully that’s not a challenge on my plate at the moment.