Technically I have time left, so I haven’t failed yet. But let’s be realistic, I’m not getting from my current 12,000 words to 50,000 before the 30th.

The first week went alright. I had a schedule going and it was gradually getting better. Then…. I don’t fucking know. Kids starting waking up absurdly early for no goddamn reason. Extra bullshit came up that I had to work on at 6:00 AM instead. Take your pick, life just decided my plans were pointless yet again and I simply have not been in a place to set aside time since.

I got miserably depressed when I couldn’t keep my schedule, even my shitty one that only yielded like 20 minutes of actual writing time a day. I’m still pretty pissed about it.

But I’ve made peace with the NaNoWriMo thing. That’s just an arbitrary deadline. It’s a gimmick. I never cared about that as much as I did actually writing again.

And I did, at least a little. It’s not much, but if I can get the same amount done on a month to month basis, I’ll be finished with this book well within a year. And that’s the pace I want, anyway.

So what the hell am I bitching about? I didn’t get to stress out 300 words at the worst time of day to meet an entirely nonsense goal set by other people who are neither publishing my book nor paying me? No big deal.

I’ll find another way. Saturdays seem like a good time to write.